Its about making memories worth repressing
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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