i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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