Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
The beers last night were like the tears from god
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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