I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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