I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
