how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
