Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
