You work out of a Hotel?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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