so that wasnt chicken after all
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
