so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
