I must be too annoying 4 u.
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
