No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
