He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
