You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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