dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
ttyl tear gas
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
