Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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