They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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