haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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