I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
