Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
