I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
