Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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