OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
