So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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