if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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