I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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