she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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