I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
