my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
sex in a hospital.. check
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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