Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize