So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
