apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
