i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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