She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
