She is in my trunk
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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