East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
