haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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