He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
