508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
