after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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