remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
You can't just leave with hair like that
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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