i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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