Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
