i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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