She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
