Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize