Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Randomize
