'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
