four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
