she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize