Having a random hookup so left but love u
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
