kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
