There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
