idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize