Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
