so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
