its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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