I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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