I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
